Anxiety Attacks

Pretty sure today has been one big, long anxiety attack – something I’ve never experienced before. Tachycardia, shortness of breath, inability to control thoughts – the symptoms are all there. Fun!

This song brought me back to earth, however:

Bassnectar remixes the Pixies “Where is My Mind?” About a minute in, it really starts showing off Bassnectar’s unique spin on the song:

What’s causing all the panic? SO MUCH STUFF, you guys.

Mostly, it’s uncertainty – I don’t have a solid date I’m leaving, let alone a solid date for the movers to come pick up stuff, let alone PICKING A MOVING COMPANY… there’s just so much. My house… my  house has been goddamn chaos for over a month now. This is the current state of affairs:

People have been seeing my house like this. People I don’t even know, because I’ve been giving away a fuckton of stuff for free lately. Now, housekeeping has never been my forte. At all. However, I DO NOT LIVE LIKE THIS. I am going insane.

The more people come and get, the better it becomes. Later tonight, the couch above will be gone, as well as a few other odds and ends. Tomorrow, the desk and the wooden cabinet in what is passing for my office goes, as well as the vintage dresser that’s served me for most of my life – and served my dad before that.

I bought four industrial-strength ratcheting tie-downs to see if I can compress my Luxi mattress into something that will fit into my car. This is unlikely, but it would be nice to have a bed when I get out there.

I did find a transporter to haul my motorcycle out there for $600.

No inquiries on the Harley yet, despite dropped the price by two grand. I’ll be dropping it again shortly.

Finances have me freaking out, as well. I got my credit card debt nicely under control as of last month, but this move is going to piss that all away again, since it’ll cost on the order of $5,000 probably. Trying to decide whether I should use my savings (all $4,000 of it, woo) or just put it all on the cards. If the damn Harley would sell, that would resolve the issue quite handily.

Most (at least I hope “most”) of what I’ll be taking is here:

Not pictured:

  • Large glass-top table
  • Bicycle
  • Bed
  • Sofa table
  • End table
  • A few boxes of kitchen stuff
  • Some clothes
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